tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5094435955251783586.post1067009708665331433..comments2023-04-25T21:49:44.182-05:00Comments on Growing In His Glory: Are You Suffering From Parent Burnout?Keri at Growing in His Gloryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08020330355186954251noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5094435955251783586.post-57167535880288960752012-08-30T22:02:39.375-05:002012-08-30T22:02:39.375-05:00Hi,
Thanks for the information, I will certainly t...Hi,<br />Thanks for the information, I will certainly take it on board. I have reached stage 5! I have 3 children. One is 18 and completely went off the rails nearly 2 years ago and our family is slowly recovering, one is 15 with Aspergers and ADHD and one is just entering teen years. I feel shattered emotionally, mentally and physically and have no extended family support so am now seeing a therapist to look after myself. It is a horrible place to be in, just surviving rather than really living. I hope many people take the advice in your article and catch it early as prevention, ESPECIALLY if they have kids with special needs because unlike a rebellious teen that situation doesn't change so we really need to take care of ourselves. Sadly, I also think that expectations that come within the christian culture and the subtle judgement that goes with it can contribute to parental burnout if things don't go 'according to plan'. I have learned a lot over the last couple of years and hope God can use my experiences in in some way in the future. One thing is for sure though, God has never allowed me to get to complete breaking point. He has provided His presence in some way, through a word of encouragement, scripture, other people praying or some other form of reaching out. He may not remove the cup but will sustain us though whatever journey we have. Thank you. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5094435955251783586.post-62348156500682551192012-06-08T19:04:11.824-05:002012-06-08T19:04:11.824-05:00I feel for you! Don't beat yourself up too muc...I feel for you! Don't beat yourself up too much; I'm sure you did the best you knew how at that time. <br />I wonder if www.FlyLady.net would be of value to you? On her website there is a page called "Babysteps", which helped me set up a simple morning routine that gets the have-tos done each day. She says that when we write down our routine (for ourselves, without breathing a single nag to anyone else) it helps the children realize what needs done. <br />My routine felt weird at first, but after 2 months I am loving it. I hope things start improving for you!Paigehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00282507443745455070noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5094435955251783586.post-23320198091425590822012-06-08T16:40:55.843-05:002012-06-08T16:40:55.843-05:00Lisa, I appreciate your honesty. You aren't al...Lisa, I appreciate your honesty. You aren't alone either. I think most parents struggle with controlling their frustration, and it's difficult whether you are a SAHM or a working mom. As a SAHM, I always feel like I can't get everything done that I want. There are days when I am so focused on cleaning and cooking that I don't spend real quality time with my kids, and then they are frustrated with me. There just aren't enough hours in the day sometimes :)Keri at Growing in His Gloryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08020330355186954251noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5094435955251783586.post-83579752770680092212012-06-08T14:07:53.877-05:002012-06-08T14:07:53.877-05:00Oh, my goodness, this brought me to tears. You ha...Oh, my goodness, this brought me to tears. You have SO described me. I would say I am in stage four. I have frightened myself with my yelling and many times have thought that if I was an outsider watching I would think it was child abuse. It's terrible. <br /><br />My biggest issue is that until a couple of years ago I have been a stay-at-home mom. Now an uncontrollable situation has forced me to work full time, I can't manage it all, and it feels like every moment I have at home is spent trying to get my five children to do their part in helping our family. Not exactly how I want to spend the few hours a day I have with them! I never realized before that if I'm not there to "nag" them they do nothing. I find it lazy, disrespectful, and selfish. Ugh...then I realize it's partly my fault because when I was home full time I guess I didn't do enough to foster independence and responsibility.<br /><br />I'm sorry, I didn't mean to go off on a monologue. I just wanted you to know you seriously touched me. Thanks for being willing to go first and admit you've been there, too!Lisahttp://www.onlythefields.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5094435955251783586.post-86017724010946477882012-06-08T05:30:54.583-05:002012-06-08T05:30:54.583-05:00Wow, Shonni! You sure have your hands full. But wh...Wow, Shonni! You sure have your hands full. But what a blessing to minister to 13 children! Praying God's richest blessings on you.Keri at Growing in His Gloryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08020330355186954251noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5094435955251783586.post-10036819711437465612012-06-07T10:07:48.458-05:002012-06-07T10:07:48.458-05:00I am new to your blog. I was drawn to it because ...I am new to your blog. I was drawn to it because of this post. My husband and I minister to children through adoption. We have been blessed with13 children. I have/am definitely facing this.Shonnihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16652243862329017082noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5094435955251783586.post-69758745113073460362012-06-04T12:12:31.876-05:002012-06-04T12:12:31.876-05:00Parenting is hard work. There are many days I want...Parenting is hard work. There are many days I want to throw in the towel, but thank God for His mercy and patience with me. He entrusted us with these children and they are a blessing, even though at times they don't seem like it. <br /><br />I will be praying for you.Keri at Growing in His Gloryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08020330355186954251noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5094435955251783586.post-84317269387115490902012-06-04T12:10:25.361-05:002012-06-04T12:10:25.361-05:00Paige, I appreciate your encouragement, especially...Paige, I appreciate your encouragement, especially your helpful coping tips! I really need to try the "fun water playing time" with my toddler although I know there will be a huge mess to clean up! I also need to work on giving my kids my undivided attention. Your timer idea would be good for me to try, too. Thanks for sharing them!Keri at Growing in His Gloryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08020330355186954251noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5094435955251783586.post-88151070659845651142012-06-02T15:10:01.566-05:002012-06-02T15:10:01.566-05:00WoW! I have to read the book you are reading! This...WoW! I have to read the book you are reading! This definitely describes me and I have reached stage 5. Luckily, I am in counseling.Triple Hhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01971703731523187983noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5094435955251783586.post-84084671805120247582012-06-02T09:35:13.246-05:002012-06-02T09:35:13.246-05:00Been there, done that. :) My baby's a few mont...Been there, done that. :) My baby's a few months older than yours. Hang in there; things will get better.<br /> I definately remember those trying days of sibling adjustment, trying to get baby to sleep, and coping without enough sleep myself! I recently read that "the secret to more patience is a well rested momma." I've found that to be true! (But not easy!)<br />And thanks for your post; I too struggle with perfectionism. The ways I've been trying to cope:<br />1) Make it fun. I get less frustrated if I'm washing dishes "to give the children fun water playing time", then if I'm trying to "get these dishes washed". Getting a toddler dressed takes less time when I "waste time" and make a game out of it, then getting into a power struggle. This is not easy for me, but I'm trying. And when I succeed, I have fun too and I feel good about myself as a mom. <br />2) I set my timer for 15 minutes and focus on interacting with the children. This stops me from, "i need to change the washer then I'll be back" only to start washing dishes and never get back to the children. When the timer goes off, I can go back to my work without feeling guilty.<br />3) As Flylady @ Flylady.net says, "House work done incorrectly still blesses." I have to repeat that to myself everytime the children "help" and end up making a bigger mess than before. Perfectionism again... <br />4) Be prepared. Know what you plan to do when disobedience/childishness occurs. I'm less angry when I anticipate and have an action plan. I'm still working on this, tho! Toddlers can tax you far more than Uncle Sam!<br />Thanks for sharing!Paigehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00282507443745455070noreply@blogger.com