What to Do When You Feel Entitled : 5 Tips to Tackle Discontent

For the past two weeks I have been sharing my thoughts on entitlement, specifically addressing how we need to battle entitlement in our homes and change our attitudes about what "I deserve."

Today I want to share a few ways I'm trying to move away from this "entitled" attitude I've adopted because, as I mentioned last week, if I expect my children to have a realistic view of life and not expect everything to be handed to them or that they should always go first, then I have to begin with me. I have to present a realistic model for them that they can follow when the world tells them they deserve more.

So, how do I stop feeling entitled? How do I deny my self what I believe I deserve?

 For me, that means 5 things.

 

1. Stay in constant communication with God.

Paul tells us in 1 Thessalonians 5:17 to "pray without ceasing." Instead of calling a friend to vent or burying my face in the phone to avoid the problem, I've got to turn to God for help. I've got to see my situation as God's will and turn to Him when I'm in doubt. I've got to keep reminding myself that I am not in control, especially when my sinful nature says, "You deserve a break; just let the house work go", or when I grumble and complain about my unruly kids as if God cheated me somehow.

And you know what? When I'm walking beside Him, seeking His help, and focusing on what He wants for me rather than what I think I need, I feel peace. Oh how I want that peace . . .

2. Memorize & recite Mark 10:43-45.

Here Jesus is speaking to His disciples about what it means to be great, following James and John's request for special places in His kingdom:
 

"'...[W]hoever wishes to become great among you shall be your servant; and whoever wishes to be first among you shall be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.'"

James and John wanted more. They weren't content with simply serving and working. They wanted to be great. Specifically, they wanted to sit beside Jesus in Heaven. As Jesus' special friends--remember they were with Jesus at the Transfiguration and a part of the "inner circle" with Peter-- they believed they were entitled to the sky box while everyone else sat in the cheap seats. But Jesus set them straight.

To be great is not to rule over others but to serve.

When selfishness creeps in and I begin to think I deserve a seat beside Jesus for all my hours of laundry folding, yogurt making, and diaper changing, remembering Jesus' words to His disciples gives me the reality check I need. He gave His life a ransom for many.

3. Get busy for the kingdom!

It's usually when I'm completely overwhelmed with my too-long to-do list that I become discontent and yearn for something more/different/better. It's then I begin to feel I deserve a vacation instead of buckling down and getting my work done.  

I need to remember that homemaking, serving my family, raising my children, loving my husband--that's kingdom work, and I need to see that work as a blessing, not a chore just to get done.

We all have work to do for the kingdom. We each have gifts to use to bring unbelievers to Christ and to build up the church. When we begin feeling entitled, that's when we need to get busy!

"God is not unjust; He will not forget your work and the love you have shown Him as you have helped His people and continue to help them. We want each of you to show this same diligence to the very end, in order to make your hope sure."

Hebrews 6:10-11

4. Take regular (or permanent) fasts from "idols."

Most of us have something--maybe someone--that we put before God. Maybe it's your spouse or children, a job you love, blogging, looking good, or running. Whatever it is, it's an idol if it consumes our time, energy, bank accounts, thoughts, etc. When we don't have a proper balance, we sacrifice what really matters just to appease our gods. We start feeling like we deserve a new dress--even though we don't have the money--or we are entitled to a raise when we aren't.

I struggle with maintaining a healthy relationship with my smartphone. I've been completely imbalanced lately, to the point that I can't wake up without first checking my email. So, I'm instituting more stringent rules on myself to be better disciplined in this area because when I'm tuned into emails and the latest pins, I'm not focusing on my husband, my kids, or my home. 

{I'll post more on the specifics of what I'm doing here in a few weeks after I finish reading Sarah Mae's "The Un-Wired Mom" and have had time to reflect.}

Identify your own idol(s) and devise a plan to tear them down. If you don't think you're "hooked" on anything, look at your bank statement or keep track of your time: write down everything you do in a 1-hour period. See where you're spending your money and/or time, and work on changing the way you relate to the things of this world. 

Life isn't about stuff; it's about spreading the good news of Jesus and making the world a better place to live.

 

5. Look for ways to deny myself, take up my cross, and follow Jesus every day (Matt. 16:24).

When I'm feeling entitled and throwing a pity party because everyone else is going to the beach but me, I've stopped surrendering all to Jesus and started expecting things. I start thinking about me and what I deserve. But Jesus didn't say, "The first shall be first." No! He said, the first shall be last, and the last shall be first.

Ask God to help you identify people who you can serve. Be proactive, and look for opportunities where you can be of use. I have to stop thinking of myself first and remember that I'm not here to live a soft, cushy life for me, but to give all 100% of myself to God. To live for Him.

I don't know about you, but I'm grappling with feelings of discontent & entitlement every day. I think it's a by-product of living in this blessed country. But in order to live a life worthy of my calling, then I need to get outside myself, to deny myself what I think I deserve, and start living for others instead. It's a constant struggle but as I trust God and draw closer to Him, I'm feeling more content every day. I pray you will come to that place of peace too. Please let me know if I can pray for you.

What about you? How do you keep your "I deserves" in check?

Related Posts:

Battling Entitlement in Our Homes
When I Feel Like I Deserve _____
 

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