Why We May Be Damaging the Future of Motherhood

Photo courtesy of Lanier67

Lately, I've been thinking about how I speak about my children to others, especially first-time moms and young women. When I come across as the stressed-out mother who's always irritated with her kids, I realize that I am not exactly the poster child for good moms.   

Why would a young woman aspire to motherhood if all she sees and hears from moms is how horrible a burden children are?

Our words and attitude can do a lot of damage to the sacred calling of motherhood if we're not careful.

"She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue."

Proverbs 31:26

According to a 2009 survey conducted by the Barna Group, only 12% of teenagers hope to be married by age 25 and only 9% expect to have children by then. 

That statistic astounds me. While I didn't marry until I was 27, I knew from childhood that I wanted to be a wife and mother and yearned for the day that God would answer the desires of my heart.

But with all of the opportunities--from college to graduate school to professional careers to travel abroad--coupled with the prevalence of divorce in so many lives and the negative depictions of motherhood all around, I wonder that any young women want to marry and have children. 

I fear that an even greater number of young women will decide to forgo marriage and motherhood until much later in life or maybe even all together. 

As a mother of three girls, I am concerned.

But that's where we as moms can have a great influence. No, we can't convince all young women of the beauty of marriage and motherhood, but we can present a more positive image of both.  

To do so, we must choose joy over bitterness in our walks as mothers.

First and foremost, we need to begin with our own daughters.  

My girls don't always see the best side of their mother. When I'm frustrated, I sometimes yell, and when the house looks like a demilitarized zone, I complain about all the work that needs to be done. 

My words and attitude are not always an inducement to my daughters to want to be a wife and mother one day, and yet in my heart, I don't know of a nobler calling.  

How we model motherhood for them will determine whether they are among the 9 or 12%, or if they will choose to embrace a higher calling.

How can we do this?

By first committing to changing our attitudes toward our roles as mothers.

• Instead of complaining about all the housework, let's show our children our gratitude for the homes we live in.

• Instead of venting our irritations with our kids to others, let's take the opportunity to brag on our children (just a little).

• Instead of wishing aloud for more time alone, let's view our children, not as a roadblock to our happiness, but as an opportunity for evangelism.

• Instead of putting Facebook and email above our children, let's give them the full attention they crave and deserve. 

• Instead of dwelling on all the spiritual matters we should be teaching our children, let's actually sit down and read the Bible together, planting the seed in their tiny hearts.

 

  "She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness."

 Proverbs 31:27

The Holy Spirit has laid this burden upon my heart to closely guard my lips and my attitude so that what I speak only edifies the sacred calling of motherhood.  

I want my daughters to aspire to marriage and motherhood one day. That means I need to work on myself and view my children not as a hindrance to my happiness, but as lost souls in need of a Savior.

Motherhood is tough, and we all need encouragement in our daily struggles. But let's try to speak uplifting words about our children with attitudes that reflect our love for and devotion to them, not our bitterness and irritation with them.

"Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her..."

Proverbs 31:28

What do you struggle with more as a mom: having a bad attitude or speaking unkindly about your children? What can you do to be a more positive example of motherhood to young single women including your own daughters?

Praying God's richest blessings on you as we continue to grow in His glory,

Keri

For comments or questions, contact me at: growinginhisglory at gmail dot com

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This post may be linked to: The Better Mom Mondays, Monday Mom Musings, Raising Arrows Welcome Home, Teach Me Tuesdays, Domestically Divine Tuesdays, Time-Warp Wife Titus 2Days, Encourage One Another, Top 10 Tuesdays, Loving Our Children Tuesdays, Women Living Well Wednesdays, Raising Homemakers Wednesdays, Works for Me Wednesdays, Raising Mighty Arrows Proverbs 31 Thursdays, Beautiful Thursdays, Hearts 4 Home, Faithfully Parenting Fridays

Menu Plan for the Week of August 18th

We have been blessed with some fresh garden veggies from my parents and in-laws, so I am throwing them into any and every dish I can. Since we put our house on the market and had a baby, we decided not to grow our own garden this year. I must say that while I don't know how or when we would have made time for gardening, I do miss walking out into the backyard for a fresh pepper or tomato for supper. Thank God for family!

Here is our menu plan for the week:

Sunday: Leftovers (We had a ton of food in the fridge that needed eating!)

Monday: Mexican chili beans (from leftover red beans & rice, sans rice and cooked with fresh peppers, cumin, & chili powder) with homemade salsa on tortillas

Tuesday: Homemade spaghetti sauce over spaghetti squash as noodles with garden salad {My mom shared a new way she's been making use of all the extra tomatoes from her garden, so I may have a new spaghetti sauce recipe :)}

Wednesday: White beans, tomato & cucumber salad, & hoecakes

Thursday: Oven Fried Fish Caesar Salad with roasted potatoes

Friday: Pizza Night!

Saturday: White bean chicken chili

I hope you will follow me on Pinterest for more meal planning ideas!

What's on your menu?  I hope you have a wonderful week!

Blessings to you,

Keri

For comments or questions, contact me at: growinginhisglory@gmail.com

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3 Tips For When You Want to Quit

  Photo Credit: Sheffield Tiger 

{This post was originally published in August 2012, but I thought it was fitting to re-post it as people begin neglecting their New Year's resolutions or goals. My prayer is that we will stay committed to those endeavors that God has laid on our hearts.}

Starting a new project or setting personal goals can be daunting. While you may begin with great motivation, at some point your energy will start to wane, and you may decide you just don't have the time or willpower to keep on. And that's when you quit.

I'm on Week 6 of Couch to 5K, and I'm tired. My knees and legs ache from continuous pounding on unforgiving concrete surfaces. My lungs scream for air as I flop down the road like a startled goose. A six-foot red head, pale and freckly, attempting to run. Ha! I want to quit just thinking about how silly I must look.

Besides the aforementioned, I can think of a dozen other excuses for not running. But in my heart, I really want to follow through.

Why?

Because I don't want to be a quitter. 

And because I don't want my girls to be quitters.

To keep focused when you want to quit, let me suggest three helpful tips. They have 
helped me stay motivated thus far and given me purpose to my running.

1. Revisit your original goals. When you first decided to embark on this endeavor, you probably had a few things you hoped to accomplish. Perhaps, like me, you wanted to lose a few pounds and strengthen and tone your body, or maybe you hoped to run in a race or eat healthier foods. Remembering the reasons why you're doing what you're doing will motivate you when you want to throw in the towel. 

2. Find someone to hold you accountable. Whatever your goals, you need someone to share your struggles and victories with: a personal cheerleader. That person might be your partner, a trainer, or a close friend, but he or she should be someone who will go drill sergeant on you when you need it or empathize at times too, a person who has your best interests at heart. For me, that person is my husband who without complaint carries the baby in the Ergo, pushes the toddler in the stroller, and helps the preschooler on her bicycle while I run. God bless him!

3. Reward yourself. If you need more motivation, plan special rewards for yourself once you reach specific milestones. For example, tomorrow I will run for 25 minutes straight--no breaks! I plan to treat myself to some new running shoes for my hard work. Of course, you don't need to spend a lot of money {I just need new shoes badly!}. You might treat yourself to a new workout top or some tunes to exercise to, or you might pamper yourself with a manicure or a spa day.  The key is to reward yourself for your hard work, so you will not lose sight of your goals.

It's easy to quit: Anyone can do it. But I believe in the old saying, "Quitters never win, and winners never quit." Persevering in the tough times strengthens your resolve and motivates you to try even more new adventures in the future.

"Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not be faint."

Isaiah 40:30-31

What keeps YOU focused when you want to quit?

 Keri

Photo courtesy of Sheffield Tiger at Creative Commons.

For comments or questions, contact me at: growinginhisglory@gmail.com

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This post may be linked to:

The Better Mom Mondays, Monday Mom Musings, Raising Arrows Welcome Home, Teach Me Tuesdays, Domestically Divine Tuesdays, Time-Warp Wife Titus 2Days, Encourage One Another, Top 10 Tuesdays, Loving Our Children Tuesdays, Women Living Well Wednesdays, Raising Homemakers Wednesdays, Works for Me Wednesdays, Raising Mighty Arrows Proverbs 31 Thursdays, Beautiful Thursdays, Hearts 4 Home, Faithfully Parenting Fridays

Menu Plan for the Week of August 12

This week marks the beginning of a return to routine around here as the older girls begin Mother's Day Out two days a week and Kate resumes her weekly ballet class. While I have enjoyed our relaxed, easy-going summer, the firstborn in me is thrilled to have a return to normalcy. And I freely admit that I am looking forward to some time to tackle a few projects around the house.

One such project is trying out new whole foods recipes. We have been slowly minimizing our meat consumption from one meatless meal a week to two and sometimes even three a week. While there's nothing wrong with eating beef, chicken, or pork, I am trying to buy only organic meats, which are pricey and rarely on sale. So, we are eating more fish, beans, and whole grains like whole wheat pasta and brown rice as our protein source, and when I can find a good deal on organic meats, I am stocking up. We are so grateful for the grassfed beef my parents have provided us with; it has been a wonderful (and delicious) blessing!

That being said, here is what is on our menu for this week:

Sunday: Leftovers from Saturday's birthday supper

Monday: Lentil Tacos with lettuce, tomatoes, cheese, & avocado slices

Tuesday: Sweet, Spicy, Sticky Chicken Thighs with brown rice & teriyaki vegetables

Wednesday: Baked Penne with Sun-Dried Tomatoes & Garden Salad with Rose's Vinaigrette

Thursday: Oven Fried Fish with Summer Veggies Brown Rice Risotto & Roasted Carrots with Honey

Friday: Pizza night!

Saturday: Sonoma Chicken Salad with chips & fruit

For all of these recipes and more, check out my Menu Plan board on Pinterest and follow me!

Keri

For comments or questions, contact me at: growinginhisglory@gmail.com

Find Growing in His Glory on Facebook.

I would love to see more of you!  If you are encouraged by what you read here and would like to have posts from Growing in His Glory delivered to your inbox daily, simply click here.  Or you can subscribe in a reader of your choice in the right sidebar.

This post may be linked to: The Better Mom Mondays, Monday Mom Musings, Raising Arrows Welcome Home, Teach Me Tuesdays, Domestically Divine Tuesdays, Time-Warp Wife Titus 2Days, Encourage One Another, Top 10 Tuesdays, Loving Our Children Tuesdays, Women Living Well Wednesdays, Raising Homemakers Wednesdays, Works for Me Wednesdays, Raising Mighty Arrows Proverbs 31 Thursdays, Beautiful Thursdays, Hearts 4 Home, Faithfully Parenting Fridays

When God Says "Not Now"

On Monday, I was offered a job. Flabbergasted and beaming with pride, I actually considered taking it, and those closest to me welcomed the opportunity for me to do something I love. My sweet mother offered to keep the kids, and my overly generous husband encouraged me to go for it.

And I almost did.

You see before I became a mother, I was a doctoral student and graduate teaching assistant (i.e. professor/student) in the English department at our local university. I lived and breathed school. Reading, writing papers, and teaching were my life, and having to step down from my position as mentor to new teachers and vacate my position in the program was a tough one. 

But then our first daughter Kate was born.

Then our rough-and-tumble Cora came along.

And now sweet Annabeth is here.

And, well, you know what I had to tell the kind people in the English Department.

"Thank you but I must decline. With a newborn and two other very young children, I have my hands full, and I do not want to lose sight of my priorities. However, please keep me in mind in the future." 

To say that was a tough email to send would be an understatement because I truly miss the academic life. 

But now is not the time.

Have you ever had to make a hard decision to forgo your own interests and desires, even a job opportunity, to be where you know God wants you to be? 

I'm praying for you. Please pray for me, too.

Blessings,

Keri

 

For comments or questions, contact me at: growinginhisglory@gmail.com

Find Growing in His Glory on Facebook.

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This post may be linked to: The Better Mom Mondays, Monday Mom Musings, Raising Arrows Welcome Home, Teach Me Tuesdays, Domestically Divine Tuesdays, Time-Warp Wife Titus 2Days, Encourage One Another, Top 10 Tuesdays, Loving Our Children Tuesdays, Women Living Well Wednesdays, Raising Homemakers Wednesdays, Works for Me Wednesdays, Raising Mighty Arrows Proverbs 31 Thursdays, Beautiful Thursdays, Hearts 4 Home, Faithfully Parenting Fridays

A Tribute to Our Oldest Daughter

Our oldest daughter Kate started ballet today. She has been pirouetting and walking on her toes all morning in preparation for her first class. I don't know who was more excited--me or her--because I knew she would love her class. And she did.

As I look at our daughter, I see for the first time how quickly she is growing into a beautiful young girl. She is tall with a lithe figure, a perfect dancer's physique. Her gray-blue eyes, wavy dirty-blonde hair, and that sweet sprinkling of freckles on the bridge of her nose concern her Daddy and me because we know she will be a knock-out one day much too soon.

But her changes are not just physical. Kate is also growing emotionally and spiritually into a sweet girl who adores her little sisters and anticipates breakfast time when we read our daily Bible story. She is generally quick to do her chores and even helps Cora with hers without my prompting. Kate says wonderful prayers at mealtime that touch my heart as she remembers, even when I don't, people who are sick, traveling, or otherwise struggling. And she always reminds us that we need to pray before we eat.

As I stumble about in my attempts at mothering Kate, I admit that it's a struggle because we are so much alike. Both firstborns, both wanting things to go according to our own plans and getting frustrated when they don't, both a little stubborn in our desire for control. We butt heads more than I would like, but Kate has an independent spirit, a determination that drives her to hold firm in her beliefs and opinions. Right now, that spirit is in need of direction and shaping, but one day, Lord willing, she will be a woman of great courage and conviction.

Still, I can't help but smile as I watch my little ballerina twirl in all her beauty, innocence, and sweetness. She is becoming such a lovely daughter of the King, and I am so proud to call her mine.

Catherine Anne (Kate) Tidwell, age 3

Menu Plan for August 5-10

I have decided, for my sake at least, to revive the weekly menu plan. If it helps you by providing recipes and meal ideas, then great! If not, at least it forces me to plan ahead and find fresh ideas.

Here's what we're having this coming week...

Sunday:  Black Bean & Cheese Nachos

Monday: Low-Carb Burgers with Sweet Potato Fries

Tuesday: Oven Fried Chicken Drumsticks, Fettuccine Alfredo, & Green Beans

Wednesday: Vegetarian Red Beans & Rice with Corn Bread

Thursday: Easy Taco Salad (using leftover red beans) with avocados, fresh salsa, sour cream, & cheese

Friday: Pizza Night!

Saturday: Birthday Dinner at my parents'!

For all of these recipes, check out my Menu Plan board on Pinterest and follow me!

What's on your menu this week?

Blessings to you,

Keri

For comments or questions, contact me at: growinginhisglory@gmail.com

Find Growing in His Glory on Facebook.

I would love to see more of you!  If you are encouraged by what you read here and would like to have posts from Growing in His Glory delivered to your inbox daily, simply click here.  Or you can subscribe in a reader of your choice in the right sidebar.

 

This post may be linked to: The Better Mom Mondays, Monday Mom Musings, Raising Arrows Welcome Home, Teach Me Tuesdays, Domestically Divine Tuesdays, Time-Warp Wife Titus 2Days, Encourage One Another, Top 10 Tuesdays, Loving Our Children Tuesdays, Women Living Well Wednesdays, Raising Homemakers Wednesdays, Works for Me Wednesdays, Raising Mighty Arrows Proverbs 31 Thursdays, Beautiful Thursdays, Hearts 4 Home, Faithfully Parenting Fridays