When You Can't Handle One More Change

The color of the leaves

The seasons, the weather, the length of days   

The heights of our children & how they view us

Our waist size, shoe size, bra size

Our hair color, hair line, even how much hair we have

Fashion, who's "hot" & who's not 

Our love for others  

Our thoughts, priorities, & expectations

Our dreams

The future

What do these things have in common?

They all CHANGE. 

Everything changes.

The Greek philosopher Heraclitus of Ephesus (c. 535-475 B.C.) once said:

"Nothing endures but change."

The only constant in life is change. The universe, the world, nature, our lives --- all of it is in flux. Nothing is permanent. 

Impermanence and constant change--even slow change--create uncertainty, doubt, and fear. We don't know what the future holds.


But one thing we can be sure of that will never change:

God's Word      

In Isaiah 40, the prophet Isaiah, who has been warning Israel of God's impending judgment, here comforts the people with these words:

⁸ The grass withers and the flowers fall,
    but the word of our God endures forever.”

Everything in this life will change. When we feel like we can't handle one.more.change., cling to God's eternal, infallible, constant Word. It will be your anchor in the storm when your hair starts to gray and the weight just won't come off.

Mark 13:31

³¹ Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away.

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When God Stirs Our Hearts

Fifty years after its destruction by the Babylonians in 586 B.C., the exiles began rebuilding Solomon's temple. After only 6 years -- in 530 B.C. -- their work stopped. Frustrated and intimidated by opposition all around them, the Jewish people abandoned the temple rebuilding process, and for over 10 years, construction on the Lord's house came to a standstill.

The hearts that God had stirred up to return to Jerusalem and rebuild the temple only 8 years earlier (Ezra 1:5) had already quieted. The original excitement had turned dull; the passion and zeal for doing the Lord's work was extinguished. It would take the messages of two of God's prophets and the watchful eye of God Himself (Ezra 5:5) to encourage the Jewish people to recommit to their work.

Can you identify with the Jewish exiles? Have you experienced a stirring in your heart that you can only attribute to the Holy Spirit? Did you heed the Lord's calling? If so, have you since abandoned the work He has called you to? 

Maybe you were so overcome by frustrations and discouragements that you gave up like the Jewish exiles did. Maybe -- like the exiles -- you began to doubt that what you were doing was truly the Lord's will. Maybe you thought you had misheard Him. Maybe you even considered going back to Babylon. 

I admit that I have experienced numerous heart stirrings over the years. Some I have immediately set to work on, and others I've ignored completely. The Lord stirs us up to good works, but He doesn't force us to comply; we have to be willing. We have to be listening to hear what He wants us to do next. And sometimes we need encouragement from other Christians.

In May of 2010, God burdened my heart to start this blog. I really didn't know where He was leading me. My lack of experience in anything led me to simply record my "growth" as a wife, mom, and Christian woman, sprinkling in some encouragement to others along the way. Over the last three years, I've gone in lots of different directions with my writing, but, ultimately, I always come back to writing devotionals because that's what God has really stirred my heart to do.

I'll admit to feeling disheartened just as the Jewish people must have felt when King Artaxerxes ordered them to stop building the temple (Ezra 4:17-24), wondering if maybe God wanted me to stop writing. I've taken many blogging breaks over the years and even contemplated shutting my blog down a few times. Some days I feel like I'm just writing for me or that what I'm saying doesn't matter to anyone else. {It can be discouraging when no one comments.} But now I know not to take it personally. Because it isn't about me; it's about Him. 

If God calls us to do something, He will see it to completion -- with or without our help. The temple did get rebuilt (Ezra 6:14). The Lord saw it through. Thanks to prophets like Haggai and Zechariah the people resumed the work. And, once again, He stirred up the people's hearts (Haggai 1:14).

Whatever God has called you to, He will see you through, too. 

Is there an area in your life that the Lord is stirring up in you? What's keeping you from obeying His call? 

Or, have you abandoned "temple work" due to frustration, discouragement, or fear? 

Ask Him for whatever you need, and trust He will provide abundantly. 

If I can pray for you in any way, please comment or email me directly. I would love to help however I can.

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6 Steps to Help You Grow in Love for Your Family

Do you struggle to really love your husband & children?
Do you want to love your family more but feel you can't?

  
I've mentioned before that one of my daily prayers is that the Lord will teach me how to love my husband and children more like He loves them. While it's easy to lay the blame on my introverted-perfectionist qualities, the truth is, shortcomings and personality quirks aside, I often neglect to show the little people -- and even the big one -- in my life how much I love them like I should. And I need to.

This post is about the steps I'm taking right now to love my family more deeply. If you could use help in this area, I hope you'll keep reading.

You may be blessed with a gigantic heart for your people. If so, thank God for that blessing because a desire to love and spend time with your family is so important.

But for those of us whose natural inclination is not one of nurturing and showering love on our husbands and offspring, then don't feel guilty. According to Titus 2:4, loving our husbands and children is something that must be taught to us by older Christian women. That sounds to me like we aren't all born with a natural bent to love our families in the way God intends. We need instruction.

 

So what's the problem? Why is loving the people we have prayed and labored for so difficult? 

Because we are human, born with a selfish heart and a desire, first & foremost, to please ourselves. Again, we could lay the blame on Adam and Eve, but the truth is we have a choice. 

I want to love my family the way God intended, so I need to figure out what's keeping me from growing in that area. 

What can I do to love my family better?

1. Think & pray.    
There are obvious obstacles to loving our people like lack of sleep, physical illness, exhaustion, etc., but there may also be areas that aren't so transparent like a simple need for quiet. Humbly ask God to show you the places you might not see. 

Remember His promises to you:

 

Consider WHY you aren't giving more of yourself to your family. You might ask: 

"What specifically hinders me from loving my husband & children more?"

2. Then, make a list.  
I'm a list-maker, but you do what works for you. Just write down what is getting in your way. Identify exactly what the Lord lays on your heart, regardless of how horrible it might sound. {Trust me. You can't lie to God.}
 

Here's my list of obstacles to loving my family:

1. The distractions of technology
2. A need for quiet time alone 
3. The chores & duties of running a household
4. Lack of energy
5. A selfish need for more "me time"

{God revealed that last one to me, and that's the real crux of my problem.}

With your list, you need to figure out how you can best arm yourself to circumvent these roadblocks to loving your family.
   
Next you will need to . . .

3. Create Action Steps.  
If I've learned anything about goal-setting and follow-through, it's that you will never accomplish anything without a realistic, spelled-out plan in place.

Consider:
 

"What can I do to circumvent these roadblocks and better love my family?"

For each hindrance that you list, identify specific actions you can take to avoid that roadblock. {Ultimately, we want to get rid of the roadblocks, but for now, let's try to find ways to deal with them.}

 For example . . .

     1. The distractions of technology

What can I do?

Restrict my time online {easier said than done}

How?

• By not getting online or texting during school hours
• By only using electronic devices during designated quiet times, nap times, and/or bedtime
• By committing to spend time with my husband first, before going online at night
• By having a plan in place before I go online as to what I need to do {this one minimizes all those rabbit trails}

Then move on to the next thing on your list . . .

     2. A need for quiet time alone

 What can I do?

Allot short "quiet times" throughout the day for everyone, plus be consistent in keeping "rest time" part of the daily routing

How?

• By creating a morning "room time" after school when girls can play in their rooms for 15-20 minutes while I recharge alone
• By making "nap/quiet times" a consistent time each day {For example, from 1:00-3:00 everyone is resting quietly in their beds with a book, crayons, dolls, etc.}
• By myself using nap/quiet times to rest, write, read, pray, and recharge {i.e. No chores!}

You get the idea. Create a plan for how you will deal with those nasty encumbrances that keep you from loving your family as fully as you can. Spell it out. Be specific. Denote any and everything that will help you achieve your ultimate goal. Then, . . .

  4. Commit Your Work to the Lord.  
If we truly expect to grow in love for our children and husbands, then we have to commit our plans to the Lord. If we are faithful, He promises to give us success.

5. Get to Work! 
It's helpful for me to keep my action plan nearby in my homemaking binder, so throughout the day, I can check my progress (or lack thereof) and get back on track if need be. 

Sometimes I may have to stop and pray, asking God to help me refrain from getting on my phone during an off-time or working during quiet time. Sometimes He'll use my kids to remind me that I'm breaking one of my own rules. Discipline is hard! But if we want to learn to love our families more fully, then we have to be willing to be refined. That means work!


6. Give Yourself Grace!  
You will stumble. You will make mistakes. You will still lose it with your children. You will wonder if it's possible to love your family even more than you do right now. But it is. They are worth it and so are you, so don't give up! Just grit your teeth and persevere. You will see results soon enough!

Don't forget that this is about growing in love for your family and not about getting it perfect.

Ask God to give you grace & strength to persevere.  
 

Ultimately, our goal is to love like Christ, but that won't happen over night. God has to furrow, cultivate, and plow through our hearts, exposing our sinfulness and bringing us to repentance. 

He is faithful. In the past 5 years, I have witnessed firsthand how God has grown my love for my husband and children exponentially. There is still much more work to be done in me, but it's so encouraging to see progress. And I know He will work as powerfully in you if you will let Him.

What keeps YOU from loving your family wholly and completely? What are you doing about those obstacles? I would love to hear your thoughts!

Praying God's blessings on you,

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When You're Weary, Where Does God Fit In?

I'm weary. The hours of the day blur together as I go from one task to the next. Mechanically. Following the routine that I know like the back of my calloused hands. 

"When my heart was grieved
and my spirit embittered, 

There are so many responsibilities, jobs, and expectations that I feel honored to do, yet I'm so tired. It seems like I'm always clamoring for rest, and when the girls' nap time rolls around, I'm finding myself sleeping too. Guilt sets in as I realize I should be using those precious minutes folding the baskets of laundry or finishing a post due in two days, but all I want to do is curl up on the couch and drift away. And I do.

I was senseless and ignorant;
I was a brute beast before You. 

It's a season, I know. This season of my life is full to overflowing. I take advantage of any and all opportunities for quiet and rest because those moments are so rare. 

Yet I am always with You;
You hold me by my right hand. 

In this season when I most want to quit everything and just lie in bed all day, I find that I crave God more and more. I actually anticipate the alarm going off at 5:15 because that means time alone in the still and quiet with Him--my Rock and my Salvation, my Comfort and Strength, my Everything. 

Every night after cleaning the kitchen, I put a clean table cloth on the kitchen table, set a vase of fresh flowers in the center, and lay out my Bible and devotional book in preparation for my morning. Why? Because I know without a doubt that I can't keep running this rat race without Him. No amount of coffee or chocolate will sustain me.

You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward You will take me into glory.

And while my body aches and my mind races with all the yet-to-be-completed tasks on my neverending to-do lists, each morning I'm seeing the beauty in the chaos as God draws me ever closer to Him. 

Whom have I in heaven but You?
And earth has nothing I desire besides You. 

While at times I throw myself a pity party (because surely no one has it as rough as me), once I've "sobered up," I realize that I've wasted valuable time and energy when I could have turned it all over to Him. As my world spins erratically out of my control, I'm finding myself drawing ever closer to God because His constant presence, His never-changing quality grounds me.

My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.

So I'm searching --
 Not for a drug to help me escape
 Not for a school to send my children to so I can rest
 Not for a new TV show to dull my senses
 Not for a book to get lost in
 Not for a cure to all my ills and woes

No, I'm searching for the One who alone will fulfill me. I'm seeking His presence, His will for me, His arms of comfort and peace, His perfect rest. 

Those who are far from You will perish;
You destroy all who are unfaithful to You. 

The journey is long and grueling -- like a treadmill set to the highest incline. But I'm trudging on, slowly but surely, because I know who holds me in His hands, and He's crazy about me.

But as for me, it is good to be near God.
I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge;
I will tell of all Your deeds." 

Psalm 73:21-28

Do you know today that God is crazy about YOU? He is, and when you feel weary and overwhelmed with cares and responsibilities, He wants you to run to Him because He loves you.

Praying God's blessings for you today no matter your season,

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What We Need to Remember When Doubt Creeps In . . .

God can be trusted.

Lately, I've been really struggling with how I can juggle all the roles and responsibilities God has called me to. 

As a wife, a mom, a friend, a teacher at home and at church, a Bible study leader, a blogger, a freelance writer, and most importantly, a child of God, I wear a lot of different hats. 

Often times I feel like I'm constantly changing costume and wonder if I'm ever going to get anything done or if anything I'm doing really matters. It's discouraging to say the least.

{Can you relate, or is it just me?}

As I plan for a new school year and look at the activity-filled calendar, I sigh: 

How am I going to do all this? 

Should I be trying to do it all? 

Does God really want me to ______?

And as the questions pour out of me, the doubts creep in. Even though I know in my heart God has called me to each of these priorities, I question how I can do it all. 

And as I cry out to the Lord, immediately I hear His response: 

"You can't do it all, but I can." 

In Isaiah 28:16, the Lord God says:

"Eternal One: See here, I am laying in Zion a stone, a tested stone—
        a cornerstone, chosen and precious—for a firm foundation.
    Whoever trusts in it will never be disgraced." [The Voice]

God can be trusted. 

Satan wants us to doubt. He instills fear into our hearts and minds, and as insecurities begin to set in, we begin to question ourselves and even God.

It's then that we have to remember who Satan is and flee from him quickly. We have to run to Jesus. We must rest in His promises that what He calls us to, He will see through. It may not look like we want it to. But God has not called us to do anything that we can't do--even if it may seem un-doable or more than we can bear. 

So, this morning, as I pray over my priorities, I'm trusting that God is faithful and that He can be trusted with every aspect of my meager little life.

If we rely on Him, we "will not be put to shame nor be disappointed in His expectations" (Romans 9:33b). He will see us through.

God can be trusted.

Psalm 9:10

English Standard Version (ESV)

10 And those who know your name put their trust in you,
    for you, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you.

Is there something or some things in YOUR life that you need to trust God in today? 

I'm praying for you, sweet friend!

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For When We're Discouraged From Doing the Lord's Work

When you undertake the Lord's work, you can expect challenges, setbacks, and disappointment. It's simply a fact that often as soon as the Lord reveals His will for you, someone or something will come along to discourage you. 

Whether that work is a ministry you've started or work with, homeschooling your children, leading a Bible class or study, or rebuilding the temple of God--whatever God has called you to--expect that Satan is going to be on the attack. 

He is looking for ways to undermine the Lord's work, to discourage us so we will throw up our hands in defeat and walk away. He is hurling obstacles at us left and right so we will eventually miss the dodge and simply surrender. 

But I beg you, do not be discouraged.

Remember Jesus' words: 

"In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."  

John 16:33

Credit

Do you remember how the tribes of Judah and Benjamin returned to Jerusalem after the exile to rebuild God's temple? 
Do you remember all the opposition they faced from enemies who did not want them to succeed? 

"Then the peoples around them set out to discourage the people of Judah and make them afraid to go on building. They hired counselors to frustrate their plans during the entire reign of Cyrus king of Persia and down to the reign of Darius king of Persia." 

Ezra 4:4-5

Satan uses discouragement and frustration to keep us from doing the Lord's work just as he tried to keep Israel from rebuilding the temple. Even within the church this happens. It's sad but so true.

Discouragement stifles motivation. It eats away at our once beautifully laid plans and makes us question what we're doing and if it truly is the Lord's will. All the energy and effort begin to seem like a waste. Yet if what we're doing is truly God's will, then we must persevere.

So what do we do? 

We either quit and Satan wins, or we seek the Lord, recommit ourselves to the task, and get back to work. 

The enemies of Judah and Benjamin worked for many years to frustrate the Lord's work, even lodging complaints to the Persian king, which worked. Temporarily. 

Sometimes God allows His work to be stopped, not because of us necessarily, but for His own purposes. He is in control, and we must trust in Him even when we are discouraged and do not understand His ways. However, like Israel, we need to be vigilant, ready for a door to open so we can set to work again.

Credit

In Ezra 5 we read how Zerubbabel and Jeshua resumed work on the temple and how "the prophets of God were with them, helping them" (verse 2):"[T]he eye of their God" was on them, and the builders were encouraged to resume their work. 

Eventually, the temple was finished, and 

"[f]or seven days they celebrated with joy the Feast of Unleavened Bread, because the Lord had filled them with joy by changing the attitude of the king of Assyria, so that he assisted them in the work on the house of God, the God of Israel." 

Ezra 6:22

Discouragement can keep us from doing the Lord's work, but often only because we let it. If God has a plan, He will see it to completion. Trust in that. He is faithful and will never abandon you. 

Whatever is discouraging you today--whether it's putting together your curriculum and plans for a new school year or attempting to minister to others at church, in your community, or in the world, or trying to affect change in a much-needed area in your own life--turn it over to the Lord. Do not be discouraged. He will see you through because He loves you. 

"And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge--that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." 

Ephesians 4:17b-19

I'm praying for you today,

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for when you want to escape

 
Yesterday, I read this quote with a smile. 

"Amen, sister!" I thought. 

But when I re-read it today, I got angry. No one would take a nap. The baby had been screaming all morning. The preschooler's antics were simply enervating. I'm tired. My husband had been working all weekend, and I felt like I hadn't had a moment to exhale.

Every ounce of my being was screaming, 

"But I need a break! I deserve some peace and quiet! My family is driving me crazy! When do I get some me time?!" 

And I'm throwing a big ol' pity party all by my lonesome. 

But Brenneman is right. 

In those moments when my sanity is hanging by a thread, running from my family anywhere else is simply not the answer. Instead, what I need to do is deny my self and run straight to the cross.

Wise women have told me that parenting is part of the sanctification process. Our children refine us by their actions (or inaction), words, and behavior. We discover our weaknesses while mothering our children. Honestly, despite my red hair, I never knew I had a temper until a toddler tested me.

 

When we're walking through the refining fires, it's tempting to want to escape. It's too hot. We hurt. We're exhausted. The weight of it all is too much for us. And it is if we try to do it on our own.  

We can't be the best mothers unless we seek God's help in the process. Our children refine us to His glory when we choose to run to God for help rather than escape the flames. 

Escape is not always the best answer.

That's not to say we don't all need some quiet time alone for introspection and reflection. I need it desperately. What I mean is that it's easy to throw in the towel, hand the baby to hubby, and announce your departure: "Good luck! I'm outta here!"

When I'm tired and overwhelmed by the weight of all that's heaped on my plate, that's when I need to run to Jesus for comfort.

Our families should be our joy. 
Our homes should be the only place we want to be.
Our lives should be spent honoring Christ as our first priority.

We should be sad inside when we're separated from our children or our husbands, not jumping up and down in glee that we have some time to ourselves.

Those are hard words to hear, I know, because they're hard for me to type. The world tells us children are a burden, that we "deserve" our time because it will make us happy, and we deserve happiness. Yet, my heart has always felt guilty for wanting time alone. Now I see why. God didn't want it this way. 

I haven't arrived as a Mom. I never will. Even today, I desperately wanted to cop out, but I didn't. 

Why? 

Because I feel a beautiful change in my heart that I can only explain as the Holy Spirit working in me. He is growing my love for my family and shrinking my love of me. It's a gradual, one-step-forward two-steps-back kind of dance, but as I cling to Him in the midst of rough days like today, I see the moments where He was moving: pulling me to Him when I wanted to run, making me smile when my kids acted silly, stirring up laughter just when we all were crumbling.

Instead of checking out when life becomes challenging, instead of complaining about the sparse time I have for myself, instead of demanding that I be happy, I'm learning-- day to day, with God's help-- to deny myself, cling to the cross, and look for moments of peace here in this place.  

In my home. 
Among my family. 
Surrounded by those I love most. 
With Christ in our midst.

This is where I'm supposed to be. 


What about you? Specifically for those of you who have found peace and joy being at home among your family rather than out in the world, how have you done it? What advice do you have for a young mom of little ones who craves a quiet space but also desperately wants to continue growing in love for her family?

May God continue to richly bless you!

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